This is amazing. She beautifully depicts the way that women pass down their coping mechanisms. The way we pass down our criticisms. The way we pass down our critical image of ourselves, our insecurities. The way we pass down family roles and rules and societal expectation. Amazing.
It makes me wonder what was passed down to me. And what I am passing down to my children.
I am loving this blog. And I really want to thank you lovely people for reading, commenting, and challenging me with question. It is a great feeling to have total strangers visit here, and then participate in discussions as I examine my self and my world.
That said, only two people who actually know me, know about this blog. And I think only 1 of them has read it. When I first started to question my faith (years ago) I was afraid to tell anyone. Only recently I started talking about this with close trusted people, an atheist and a fellow preacher’s kid. (Oh yeah, I am a PK). I felt safe disclosing these personal questions to these people, but the idea of openly discussing my doubts is terrifying.
In part, it’s scary because I need a safe place to ask my questions without feeling pressured to “join a side.” And I really really don’t want my lovely and well-meaning friends to try to “save me.” I want to go through this time of doubt and questioning, gather information, and come to a conclusion in my own time. However, I feel like this struggle is normal, healthy, and not something to be ashamed of. I wonder if sharing this experience in an even more open environment will help other people who feel alone when facing a struggle like this.
So I ask you, my little blogging community, should I consider “coming out”? Should I take the risky step of posting my blog on my facebook or twitter, knowing that my friends and family will be shocked by this information? Can I have a time of questioning and doubt out in the open or is it doomed to be an internal and anonymous struggle?