Cliche… and a bit of a rant.

This might sound cliche but I am diving in anyway. Be warned, I have had a long day and am feeling a bit heart broken and angry. Tread softly and be nice in the comments please.

I have a lot of questions, and a lot of philosophical, big, fancy points to research and inquire about as I figure out my view of faith and religion and God. But I have one big problem that is outweighing them all tonight. And it is such a cliche. If there is a God, why is there so much suffering?

I know, I know- free will, master plan, used for his glory, tests so that we can grow, one set of footprints, I was carrying you, original sin; believe me my faithful friends, if you have an answer to this question, I have heard it. I have probably even said it. But lately… none of that is good enough.

Has anyone else ever reached that point, where they look at the world- the pain, the horror, the ugliness, the oppression, and said… why? The God I believe(d) in is so loving, so just, so powerful… why would God allow that? 

What suffering, you may ask? Ever heard of the missing women, or the missing generation? This term refers to a lot of phenomenon, but I refer to the hundreds of millions of women and girls that should be in the world population and are not. Logic (and math) dictate that the world’s population should be roughly 50/50 between the male and female genders. But it isn’t. Because hundreds of millions of women and girls have been victims of gender genocide. 

This thought overwhelms me. Add that to the hundreds of millions of women, girls, boys, and men who are brutalized, victimized, and oppressed every day… it makes my stomach hurt and my head spin. Want to add more desperate confusion to it? Okay!

It is a fact that the human race evolved into our current state at least 100 thousand years ago. My faith proclaims that God sent Jesus to save us, redeem us, and free us 2,000 years ago. So for 98 thousand years God was… watching? waiting? busy?? If he can watch us flounder as a species for 98 thousand years, and then continue to allow the increasingly horrific oppression and murder of millions of people, why would I think he would take any time for me? And how can I ever find hope and comfort in that God? How can I cultivate a “personal relationship” with Jesus under those circumstances?

Again… feeling very heart broken today… if you couldn’t tell.

Miracles?

Miracles. Hmmmm. This has been a concept I have had problems with since I was a child. The general definition is some sort of event that serves as helpful or beneficial for a person, and is viewed as either inexplicable or as an intervention of the divine.

Intervention of the divine. Right. Cause God wants me to escape a fender-bender, but has no miracles for the billions of people in the world who are starving, dying, or oppressed by forces outside of their control. Sure. That makes complete sense.

I know that sounds snarky, but think about it. I profess to believe in a loving and just God. I profess a belief in the power of prayer to intercede on the behalf of someone, that prayer can capture the attention of God (who is always watching) and move him to act in a miraculous way on my behalf.

And yet… yet… women are burned alive by their potential husbands who want to pay a lesser dowry. Men have been protected by law so that when they rape a woman, as long as they marry her later, they face no legal action. Which is great because once she is ruined it is way easier to get her as a wife. Children, innocent, blameless children, sit dying in streets all over the world for a variety of reasons- illness, starvation, exposure. And this… this God does not miraculously fix.

So all of the prayers that I have sent up for all of these people, did they not work? Where was God? Oh I know that pat answers. Humanity introduced evil into the world and now it is a burden we must bear. We must be responsible for lifting people out of oppression. We must help and aid those people by bringing them the message of Christ- and presumably clean drinking water. 

But I don’t like those answers. I think those answers are a cop out. I think it is horribly horribly duplicitous to say, “Well, evil exists in the world and we can’t fix that, but I am sure God has a plan.” And then to claim that God blessed you with a promotion, or a new car, or maybe you were healed of a disease, even though you have insurance and doctors and a fighting chance just because of your geographic location. 

Yeah. The idea of miracles bothers me. Because eventually, no matter which line of thinking you follow, you either end up with a God who micro-manages the lives of a select, special, privileged few; or you have a God who is so completely hands-off that he serves no purpose other than as an architect of some sort. Maybe I am missing something, but neither of those gods suits me, or my view of justice and love.